Sometimes getting what we want can be difficult. We don’t know where to start, what steps to take, and we usually want it all right now. Here are 7 steps that I walk my clients through to help them accomplish their dreams. If you want to know more about a specific step, click on the title and it will take you to the blog post explaining that step in more detail.
I hope you find this useful and don’t forget to schedule your free coaching call at the top right-hand corner of the page.
You have to know what you want. Write it down, what is the breakthrough you want, in what area of your life do you want it? If you are not sure, take some time and think about the pain you are experiencing, what area of your life is it, relationships, career, kids, dating, etc
Now to write what you want, it must be in the present tense. Don’t say I could; I want, or I wish. Say “I am free” “I do the right thing” “I am a good friend” “ I do my job well” — make a strong, bold statement, this is your first exercise in bravery.
Saying something that doesn’t seem right makes you feel like a liar, but if you know it can be true, you are not a liar, you aren’t there yet.
So you face the future of what could be with bravery in spite of what you see today! BE BRAVE!
Knowing why you want something can be challenging to discover, and sometimes it takes some exploring.
Our Why can often be hiding under layers of chaotic thoughts, emotions, and just being busy. We have forgotten how to slow down.
Below is a tool I have used.
Make sure you are in a place where you are not going to be disturbed, and you can focus for at least 30–45 minutes. It may take you about 10 minutes to rest, relax, and calm your mind.
Take what you wrote down from the previous step, and ask yourself why?
Then ask it again. Why? Then ask it again. Why? You need to ask why over and over again, at least five times.
Each time you ask Why you go down another level to a more foundational motivation.
Oh, and it isn’t going to be easy.
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This may seem like an obvious or unneeded step. However, it is always important to know where we start. If we do not know where we begin, we do not see how far we have come.
The first step was to know what we want in the future, a dream that is not yet a reality. This step is about writing down where we are today. You know what you want to change, but how does it look today before the change? How do you feel about the current reality? What emotions do you experience about this reality?
If you froze time right now, how would you answer these questions?
Write down in as much detail everything you can think of around these questions.
Our lives are full of craziness. We fill every free moment we have with something even if it is eating or watching TV. This fullness is why you fail at the things you try to add to your life; it is already full! You must prioritize and decide what is essential and what isn’t.
You have to decide what you are going to stop doing, so you can free up the time you need to start doing something else. What are you going to stop doing?
What thing(s) are you going to allow the sun to set on so you can have the free time to move forward?
What will you give up, so you can get that breakthrough!
Do you remember step 2? What was the last answer to why?
How can you accomplish that? Make sure that your answer is something you have complete control over. Your action needs to be something that doesn’t depend on anyone else.
What is the first step towards making that last why a reality? Then move onto the next level.
If you don’t have the next step right away, that is ok. Many times the previous step has to be completed before the next step becomes clear.
Do not give up!
Take it slow and easy. Build the plan from the bottom up. Meaning, make that foundational why from step 2 a reality, then move up and work on the next why.
This process does not happen overnight.
We are talking about lasting change, and in our minds, we picture breakthrough as a military action.
Someone is breaking through a wall, overcoming something massive.
But we are dealing with our interior, and our interior is a violently quiet place.
The breakthroughs that happen there are not often loud, or audible; they do not come with a massive shift externally in an instant as we picture it.
Internal breakthroughs are often quiet moments where we make a different decision than before, and at that moment, we are on a different path.
That path leads to external change, but the breakthrough moment was a whisper of strength that no one knows.
Now
- you know what you want
- you know why you want it,
- you have the time to execute it,
- you have the plan,
- you are ready for the long haul.
You now have everything you need to make what you want a reality!
It is not about being perfect. It is about action.
Taking the next step in the process. Moving forward, even when you are scared. Doing work when you are tired and don’t feel like it.
Keep what you want right in front of you and take the next step!
Some people need more help than others, but this is the exact process I take personal clients through when we are looking to change their lives.