Culturally we are all but obsessed with exits.
They are clearly marked for us, we often want to know if there is more than one way out, and we don’t even care where the exit takes us, as long as it is out.
There is an excellent reason for our intense need to know: safety.
We want everyone, including ourselves, to be safe. But sometimes this can be taken to an extreme.
Take the standard movie theater for example. You buy your ticket, go down a length (or maze for some of us) of hallway, cozy in your seat, and watch your movie. When it’s over, everyone else is using the main exit, but hey there are two other ones marked at the front of the theater. You might say to yourself, “I am going to be smart and exit there!”
It might as well take you to Mars because you end up on the backside of the theater with a pit full of rocks between you and the parking lot and no way except army-crawling over the rocks to get back to your car. But the important thing is you beat everyone else out of the theater!
This mindset continually overlaps into our daily lives. We always know our exit plan, how to get out, and for those times we don’t know our way out, we tend to get nervous. Like really nervous, uncomfortable, I-need-medication nervous.
We spend a significant amount of our mental and emotional energy figuring out the one or many ways to escape.
What’s my backup plan if I try to become an entrepreneur and it doesn’t work out? What if my job doesn’t work out? What if my marriage doesn’t work out? We find ourselves talking about these situations as if we have zero control over them, or as if they are happening TO us instead of us actively taking ownership and participating in our own lives.
The truth is we have a high level of control over our lives and what happens in them, but that takes work and stress and involves problems that need to be solved. It is far easier to check out, binge on the latest Netflix show, and avoid responsibility until you have to wake up the next morning.
This mindset keeps us from achieving our dreams, prevents us from turning our dreams into goals, and keeps us from turning our goals into our reality.
When we are always looking for the backup plan or for the way out, we are never
If you stay in the situation, the pressure, the stress and allow your mind to relax and stop focusing on what is bothering you, you might find a solution. Our ability to handle pressure and stress is like a muscle: the more we work it, the more we get comfortable with the pressure and the more we can control and the easier it is to work through the pressure.
You will learn to focus in spite of the stress and irritation.
When you relax into your situation and especially when you take ownership of it, you have the opportunity to find the solution to better our situation. Instead of this, however, you may find you are too often looking for the way out which leads to repeating the same situation because you’re not dealing with the common denominator for every situation in your life: YOU!
When we only look for the exit, we may be dooming ourselves to repeat the lesson we need to learn to succeed.
If you want to achieve success, when the stress becomes uncomfortable, find support from friends or family to encourage you as you go through the pressure instead of looking for the nearest exit.
*This article is in no way advocating dealing with a medically diagnosed condition or psychological trauma on your own. If you have a need or know you need help, please seek the advice of a licensed counselor, psychiatrist, or medical professional. This article is addressing the high level of comfort western citizens have become accustomed. If you are suicidal, depressed, dealing with deep trauma, or any similar situation DO NOT GO THROUGH THIS ALONE! Seek professional help immediately.
National Suicide Prevention Hotline
Call 1-800-273-8255